I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Couch. On fire.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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