either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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