I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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