Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
