He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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