do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I can't turn off my feet"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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