Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
