yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
