so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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