I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
