sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Buhtt sex?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
