she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
