Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
