i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
