dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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