maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize