Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
