If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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