I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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