Where did you get a picture of my penis
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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