what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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