I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
