Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
