Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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