Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
