Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
