Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I will pee on everything he values.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
