so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
is this the sara with the beer cane?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
