I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
