we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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