Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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