I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
All I want is dick and wine.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
