I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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