I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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