It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
