What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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