I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
