Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
