It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she pinky promised me she was 18
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
