I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We had to coat check the pizza.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
