There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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