My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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