woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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