So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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