A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
