I just pynch a tree in the face
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
