Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
