her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
