Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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