I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
