If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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