remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize