Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
