i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
