I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
