I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
